Blazing Dragons Virtual Season Finale - The Princess and the Squire
by J-R Virtual Seasons
Summary: King Allfire is still procrastinating, while Queen Griddle's attempts at matchmaking have risen to new heights. Princess Flame has reached the end of her tether, and she tells Flicker that she is ready to make good on her threat to leave Camelhot. However, Flame soon finds herself under threat from an unexpected source of evil that even Count Geoffrey could not have anticipated.
1. Chapter 1

The dragon knights of Camelhot were sitting around the Square Table, waiting for one latecomer to arrive. King Allfire coughed and shuffled a sheaf of papers.

'Well,' he said, 'perhaps we should make a start. First order of business, then… now, let me see, it's here somewhere…'

'Forgive me, Your Majesty, but it doesn't seem right for us to start without Sir Blaze,' said Sir Burnevere. 'After all, he's just saved us all from becoming Merle's slaves, so I think we should do him the courtesy of waiting for him, at least a little longer.'

'Yes, I agree,' said Sir Hotbreath. 'We owe everything to Sir Blaze - we can't start without him.'

'It does seem a poor way to repay him for the great service he has performed for us, sirs,' said Sir Galahot.

'Well, well,' said King Allfire, 'I never dreamed I would see the day when the Square Table was surrounded by and regaled with unrestrained praise for Sir Blaze. What say you, Sir Loungelot?'

'Well, I'm very grateful to Sir Blaze, Your Majesty,' said Sir Loungelot, 'but I wouldn't mind starting the meeting without him, even in spite of his recent triumph.'

'Coo-ee! Panic over, everyone - I'm here, and look who I've brought with me!'

Sir Blaze entered the hall with his arm around the shoulders of a young male dragon.

'Is that Sir Charash?' Sir Hotbreath whispered to Sir Burnevere.

'I certainly hope it is,' Sir Burnevere whispered back.

'Ah, Sir Charash,' said King Allfire. 'Welcome back to Camelhot - we've been looking forward to seeing you again.'

'Thank you, Your Majesty,' said Sir Charash. 'I'm very glad to be back, although I must admit that I did enjoy spending a few weeks with my parents and telling them about everything, and hearing how proud they are of me. My mother even made me this lovely new tabard.'

'Doesn't he look stunning in it?' said Sir Blaze, grasping Charash by both shoulders and staring at him admiringly. 'That's the coat of arms of Toasting-Forkney, you know.'

'Yes, I recognise it,' said King Allfire. 'King Hot was once a great ally of mine, which is partly why I have always been ready and willing to knight his sons.'

'And that device you wear across the coat of arms, Sir Charash,' said Sir Burnevere, 'with the horizontal bar and the three stripes. Does that adornment not indicate that you are the heir to the title that goes with it?'

'Um, yes,' said Charash. 'My mother absolutely insisted that I should wear it. I believe Queen Griddle sent word to her that my brother, Sir Agraflame, wasn't ever going to be in a position to inherit my father's throne, and that… well, I was the only one left. I never expected to become heir to the throne, being the third and youngest son, but now I suppose I'll just have to take on the responsibility when the time comes… which won't be for many years, I hope.'

'Now that I've seen your new tabard, Charash, I remember Sir Agraflame wearing a device like that across his coat of arms when I first knew him,' said Sir Galahot. 'I never knew what it meant, but now I understand. Listen, we're sorry for the loss of your brother… for the loss of both of them, in fact. Aren't we, sirs?'

Everyone nodded and vocalised their agreement.

'Thank you,' said Charash. 'I never really knew Agraflame - he was twenty-two years older than me and I didn't see him often. But I do miss Gasflame, when I stop and think about it - he was a good brother to me.'

'And a good cousin to me,' said Sir Blaze.

'And a very good knight as well,' said King Allfire. 'Gasflame will always play an important role in the stories told of Camelhot, believe me.'

'Well, thank you, everyone,' said Charash. 'I'm glad to hear these things, and I'm honoured to take my place at the Square Table.'

'And we're honoured to have you,' said King Allfire. 'Do sit down, my boy.'

Sir Blaze showed Sir Charash to his seat, before taking his own. Sir Burnevere leaned towards Charash.

'Something's been bothering me ever since I first saw your coat of arms, Charash,' he said. 'Just what is the name of that horizontal bar that marks one out as heir to a title? I've been racking my brains and I just can't remember.'

'Oh, right,' said Charash. 'Well, it's called a label.'

'A label?' laughed Sir Loungelot. 'Not a very grand name, is it?'

'It does seem like a bit of a letdown,' said Sir Hotbreath.

'Let's make it our duty to think of a better name for it, sirs,' said Sir Galahot.

'It doesn't matter what it's called,' said Sir Blaze. 'Charash wears his label well, and he does it with pride - who cares if its name is a bit lame?'

'That's right,' said King Allfire, 'for let us not forget that even someone with a lowly label - such as "kitchen boy" - can save a kingdom. Now, to business…'

* * *

The knights filed out of the hall, talking amongst themselves and slapping Sir Charash on the back. With carefully timed precision, Queen Griddle swept into the throng and plucked Charash out.

'So nice to see you back here, my dear boy,' Queen Griddle said, dragging Charash off along a corridor. 'I deduce from your new tabard that Griselda must have received my letter.'

'Um, yes,' said Charash. 'Thank you for taking the time to write to her about me, Aunty Griddle.'

'Not at all, not at all,' said Queen Griddle. 'I can think of no one more deserving than you to inherit the throne of Toasting-Forkney someday. And just imagine if you were to marry someone who was also heir to the throne of a kingdom - your two kingdoms could unite into one glorious whole!'

'Aunty Griddle, I'm only just eighteen,' said Charash. 'I really haven't given any thought to marriage.'

'Well, you should - now is the ideal time!' said Queen Griddle. 'I have to show you something, Charash - quickly, in here!'

Charash stumbled and fell forward as Queen Griddle propelled him through a door and shut it behind him. He found himself in a very small room with no windows.

'Smells like apples,' said Charash, sniffing the air. 'Well, I suppose I'll just wait here, then.'

Sir Charash waited for several minutes, then he heard footsteps outside the door. He took a step towards it, but jumped back quickly as the door opened and Princess Flame lurched over the threshold, obviously having just received a powerful shove from behind. The door closed behind her and a key could be heard to turn in the lock.

* * *

King Allfire stuck his head around the door of the Chancellor's room.

'I say, Chancellor,' he said, 'are you at home to visitors just now?'

'Of course, Your Majesty,' said the Chancellor, looking up from his work. 'This is the second time in as many weeks that you've come to see me - I do feel honoured.'

'I'd just like to go through a bit of paperwork with you, old chap,' said King Allfire. 'We must make sure that Sir Charash's records are in order, and then I've got something to add to the Square Table To-Do List.'

'My pleasure, sire,' said the Chancellor. 'I'll gather up Sir Charash's paperwork for you now.'

'Thank you. Um, Chancellor…'

'Yes, Your Majesty?'

'I've been chewing something over in my mind lately, and I'd like to run it past you,' said King Allfire. 'You are, after all, Camelhot's greatest source of knowledge and wisdom.'

'Well,' said the Chancellor, 'knowledge, perhaps.'

'I've been thinking about knighting young Flicker,' said King Allfire. 'I've spoken to a lot of people about him and he really does seem to have proven his worth.'

'Ah yes, an excellent idea, Your Majesty,' said the Chancellor.

'But I'm not sure I should just knight him out of the blue,' said King Allfire. 'I thought perhaps I should wait until an opportune moment presents itself.'

'Until he's proven his worth one more time, you mean?'

'Well… yes, I suppose so. But on the other hand, perhaps he's done enough already - I know my daughter thinks he has.'

'If you were to knight young Flicker - as you put it, sire - out of the blue, do you think any of the Knights of the Square Table would feel annoyed or resentful in any way?' asked the Chancellor.

'I shouldn't think so,' said King Allfire. 'They all seem to think very highly of him.'

'Well, whatever you decide to do, I'd advise you to elucidate your plans to Princess Flame sooner rather than later,' said the Chancellor. 'I must confess, sire, that she's been here to see me more than once during the past week, asking about whether I thought you might be on the brink of making this decision.'

'Oh, has she indeed?' said King Allfire. 'Well, perhaps I should keep her hanging on a little longer, then - I wouldn't want her to think that she'd managed to badger me into giving her exactly what she wants!'

'It is for you to decide, Your Majesty,' said the Chancellor. 'Look, here is Sir Charash's paperwork.'

'Excellent,' said King Allfire.

* * *

Flame glared around the confined space with a thunderous look on her face, and then turned to Charash. Gradually, her expression softened.

'Hello, Sir Charash,' said Flame. 'Congratulations on your recent knighthood, and on your newly elevated position in Toasting-Forkney.'

'Thank you, Your Highness,' said Sir Charash. 'Um… what is this place?'

'It's a fruit cellar,' said Flame.

'Ah, so that's why it smells of apples,' said Charash. 'Do you have any idea why we're here?'

'Stepmother Griddle has locked us in together,' said Flame.

'Oh, I see,' said Charash. 'Why has she done that?'

'To force us to spend some time together - she wants us to get married.'

'Oh… so that's what she was talking about after the meeting!'

'Yes, she seems very keen on the idea of uniting the kingdoms of Camelhot and Toasting-Forkney,' said Flame, running her hands around the edge of the door. 'That arrangement really doesn't fit in with my plans, though, and I'm sure it doesn't fit in with yours either… so it won't be happening.'

'Are things really that simple?' asked Charash. 'I mean, if Aunty Griddle really wants this, what can we do to change her mind?'

'Foiling her carefully laid plan doesn't necessarily mean changing her mind,' said Flame. 'It might be necessary to remove a vital part of the plan instead. By the way, we were all sorry to hear about Sir Agraflame - your parents must be very upset.'

'Well, they are, but they both pretty much gave up on Agraflame a long time ago,' said Charash. 'My father says I'm a much more suitable heir than Agraflame, because I'm not evil.'

'That is a very important factor in your favour, Charash,' said Flame, facing the door and staring down at the keyhole. 'Now, would you mind if I got us out of here?'

'Not at all, Your Highness,' said Charash. 'If that's what you want to do.'

'Believe me,' said Flame, 'that most definitely is what I want to do!'

The sound of roaring flame filled the fruit cellar as Princess Flame blasted the keyhole with as much fire as she could generate. The lock buckled and the door caught fire, and Flame hurled herself against it. She felt the heavy obstacle move before she was pushed back, and went in for a second assault. On the third try, Flame burst out into the corridor.

'Enough!' she growled. 'Daddy, I want a word with you!'

* * *

'Have you got that, Chancellor?' asked King Allfire.

'I think so, Your Majesty,' said the Chancellor, reading back over what he had just written. ' _To Do: Think of a better name than "label" for a label (heraldic device)_.'

'That's it,' said King Allfire. 'Marvellous.'

'Daddy!'

'Hello, Puff,' said Allfire, as Flame stormed into the room. 'What can I do for you?'

'You can do for me what you should've done for me several years ago!' said Flame. 'You can knight Flicker and let me marry him, and then we'll both be extremely happy and Stepmother Griddle will have to stop trying to marry me off to random people!'

'My dear,' said King Allfire, 'remember your recently acquired patience…'

'I've been patient!' Flame fumed. 'I've been more patient than anyone could reasonably have expected me to be! But I am not going to hang around forever waiting for something that is never going to happen - my mother died doing that, and I'm not going to share her fate! Daddy, you've been making your enquiries and mulling things over and you've had long enough! Tell me right now whether you're going to knight Flicker, or else!'

'Or else what, Puff?'

'Or else I'm going to do something really bad!'

'Your Majesty,' said the Chancellor, 'if you still want my advice on this matter, I'd urge you remember my earlier recommendation in relation to your daughter.'

'Thank you, Chancellor, but I'll handle this in my own way,' said King Allfire, frowning slightly. 'Flame, no one has the right to issue an ultimatum to a king - not even you! As I told you before, I shall make my decision - and let you know what it is - in my own time…'

'You've had more time than you could possibly need!' Flame roared. 'Tell me you're going to knight Flicker, Daddy - tell me now, or you will regret it!'

'Flame, I want you to go to your room and think about how a princess should conduct herself,' said King Allfire. 'When you have calmed down, I shall -'

'That's it!' Flame screamed. 'That was your last chance!'

'Flame, as your father and as your king, I order you to go to your room!'

'NO!'

There was a sudden flurry of movement, and a table went crashing to the floor. King Allfire and the Chancellor barely had time to open their mouths to object before several bookshelves were being torn from the walls.

'My records!' the Chancellor cried in dismay.

'Flame, what do you think you're doing?' King Allfire demanded.

'I told you I'd do something bad!' Flame replied, running over to the window. 'Flicker is Camelhot's greatest and noblest warrior - tell me that you're going to give him the recognition he deserves!'

'Flame, I can't just…'

Allfire's words were drowned out by Flame's screams and sobs, then the sound of ripping curtain material filled the room.

'Oh,' said the Chancellor, 'my curtains!'

Flame tore the curtains to pieces with her claws and teeth, before turning her attention to a large book entitled _Code of Chivalry_ that was standing on a lectern nearby.

'Now, Puff,' King Allfire said uncertainly, 'don't do anything you'll regret later.'

'I'm never going to let myself be in a position to regret anything ever again!' Flame yelled. 'The only thing I regret is that I've been forced to live my life under the cruel oppression of the rules in this book!'

'But Flame,' said King Allfire, 'it's the Code!'

'Hang the stupid code!' Flame roared. 'In fact, blast the stupid code!'

With that, Flame unleashed a colossal stream of fire at the Code of Chivalry, which flared up at once and began to burn away. Flame turned on her heel and stormed from the room, leaving King Allfire and the Chancellor gaping after her.

'I… I can't believe it,' said King Allfire. 'I simply can't believe it.'

'Your… Your Majesty,' said the Chancellor, 'do not despair - I have several back-up copies of the Code of Chivalry.'

'That's not the point,' said King Allfire. 'Don't you see, Chancellor? Flame destroyed the Code of Chivalry, and in doing so… she might as well have destroyed Camelhot.'

* * *

Flicker was sitting on a chair and darning one of Sir Loungelot's tunics when Flame came bursting into his workshop, breathing heavily and wearing a dark look.

'Hello, Flame,' Flicker said uncertainly. 'I was hoping I'd see you so I could, er…'

'Yes?'

'Well… I was going to ask you for some tips on sewing, but that's not important right now.' He bundled the tunic, needle and thread onto the floor and got to his feet. 'Are you all right?'

'No,' she said. 'But I will be in a minute. We're going.'

'We're… what?'

'I've _told_ you, Flicker! I've waited and waited and _waited_ for my father to knight you, and it simply is not happening! Just now I went to ask him about it again, and he turned round and said I couldn't tell him what to do because he was the King, and he was _never_ going to knight you!'

'Did he really say that?' asked Flicker, looking stricken.

'Well… not in so many words, but Flicker, can't you see? If it was going to happen, it would have by now, after all my efforts and his empty promises. It's too late. The time has been and gone, and what's more, Stepmother Griddle is now determined that I should marry Sir Charash.'

'Marry Sir Charash? Oh, but surely the King wouldn't -'

'I can't depend on my father for anything anymore!' said Flame. 'A couple of years ago the man walked me down the aisle to marry a giant chicken, for crying out loud! And you remember that jousting tournament, don't you? He let it go ahead because Queen Griddle was "in a bit of a mood"! His words! Flicker, we _have_ to leave!'

'But Flame… the Code…'

Her expression darkened. 'I _hate_ the code.'

'Well, I don't,' said Flicker, frowning.

'I know you don't. You've always put the code before me, haven't you?'

'No I have not! I've only once gone against the Code of Chivalry, Flame, and that was for you. You just mentioned it yourself - the joust for your hand. Remember the Pink - er - White Knight who left a red sock in with the wash? I know I refused to do it at first, but I did it in the end, and I'll thank you not to forget it.'

Flame sighed, took a moment to calm herself and then said, 'Of course I haven't forgotten, and I never will forget that, nor anything else you've done for me. Listen. I know the Code is important to you, but Flicker, you're not a knight. It isn't _for_ you.'

'It's for everyone who wants to live -'

'Oh, blazing dragons, don't you understand? I need you!' So saying Flame strode forwards, grabbed both of Flicker's arms and pushed him up against the wall. 'I _want_ you, and I've got to have you - heart, body and soul - and soon! Because above everything else, Flicker, I love you.'

'Flame,' said Flicker, 'you shouldn't say… we shouldn't be… I mean… let's just think about this reasonably for a minute.'

'Oh, Flicker! I have loved you since the moment I clapped eyes on you. What could be more _reasonable_ than to marry you? What you're looking for isn't here… and neither will I be, after tonight. I'm going, and I want you to come with me.'

Flicker looked at her for a moment. Then he let out a sigh, and said, 'Where would we go?'

'What about Northumberland?' said Flame. 'Your wicked stepmother is still living in your father's house, isn't she?'

'Yes… as far as I know. But she hates me.'

'So what? It's your house by rights - we could turn her out.'

'Oh, I couldn't do that,' said Flicker. 'She's got nowhere else to go. I refuse to punish her, no matter what she's done, but I don't really want to live with her either. Anyway, the house is hardly anything, especially compared to Camelhot. I can't ask a princess to live there.'

Scowling, Flame said, 'I don't care about that, and anyway, _I'm_ asking _you_. All right, look… what about Singetagel? Princess Solder is my best friend now, and she seems quite interested in our relationship. She could probably even persuade her father to knight you, if she reminds him about how you saved Ignatio's egg. Yes, that's it! We'll go to Singetagel Castle!'

'But Flame, we can't impose -'

'Oh, what is the _matter_ with you?' She dropped his arms, stepped rapidly away from him and turned her back. 'You're just making excuses not to run away with me.'

'No, Flame, honestly I'm not. I'm just trying to be practical.'

'Practical! Who cares about _practical_? _I_ don't! We'll live in a cave if we have to! Flicker.' She turned round, and her eyes bored into his. 'If I asked you to fly out of that window with me right now, and never come back, would you do it?'

'Of course,' said Flicker. 'I'd do anything for you.'

'Why?'

' _Why_?'

'Yes, why?'

'You know why.'

'But I want to hear it!' said Flame. 'Why won't you say it?'

'I can't say it here,' said Flicker. 'It's not right. You're the Princess, and I'm -'

'I _know_ what you are, and it's a lot more than you're given credit for. Your being a squire means nothing now, even if it did once make a difference! Look… I'm going to my room to fetch a few things, and then I'll come back here. I am leaving this castle tonight, Flicker, no matter what. If you want to come with me, pack a bag and we'll go together. If you'd rather stay here…'

With these words, her voice finally faltered. She turned away again, and made for the door. As she pulled it open, Flicker began to say, 'Of course I -'

The last word was drowned as Flame slammed the door behind her. For a moment, Flicker stared at where she had been standing. Then he turned with a sigh, went to his bed and pulled a knapsack out from under it.

Outside the window, the sky was darkening and a rope was trailing from the turrets above, straining with the weight of Count Geoffrey's Evil Spy as he slid down it to the ground.

* * *

In Castle Threadbare, Count Geoffrey stood scowling at Evil Knights Numbers One and Three, who were clutching each other and sobbing.

'When are you two going to stop snivelling?' said Geoffrey. 'You've been moping around the place for weeks!'

'We can't help it, dread Count Geoffrey!' said Evil Knight Number One.

'We miss Evil Knight Number Two!' sobbed Evil Knight Number Three.

Geoffrey said nothing else, but was still scowling at them when the Evil Spy ran into the room and whispered something into his ear.

'Hmm,' said Count Geoffrey, his brow furrowing in thought. 'Princess Flame wandering the castle grounds at night, with a view to running away, you say! Well, well, well! That's an opportunity too good to miss, isn't it, boys?'

Evil Knights Numbers One and Three gazed dolefully up at him, sniffling.

'Oh, pull yourselves together!' said Geoffrey. 'I have a plan!'


	2. Chapter 2

Flame was feverishly pulling all of the clothes out of her wardrobe when someone knocked on her door. She froze, a look of panic coming into her eyes. Then she called tentatively, 'Who is it?'

'It's Blaze,' her stepbrother's voice called back.

'Oh… all right, come in.'

As the door opened, Flame stepped back from the pile of clothes and looked guiltily at Blaze. He stared at the mass of dresses at her feet for a moment, bewildered. Then his eyes moved up to her face. Finally, he said, 'What are you doing?'

'Nothing,' said Flame. 'What do you want?'

'Mumsey's looking for you.'

Flame snorted. 'Why? So she can ask me if I got Sir Charash to show me his sword while we were locked in the fruit cellar? Does she want to know if I ran my finger up and down it and said, "Ooh, Sir Charash, what a lovely big sword you've got"?'

'Something like that, I think,' said Blaze. 'What's going on in here, sis?'

'I told you - nothing. I'm just… having a clear-out.'

'I see. Are you going to throw away that bag on your bed, or keep it?'

Flame's eyes slid over to her bed, where a small bag sat open and ready to receive a few carefully chosen belongings. Then suddenly her thunderous expression returned; she kicked at the pile of dresses and said, 'Oh, I don't _know_! Maybe I should just marry Sir Charash like Stepmother Griddle wants me to! That would solve everything once and for all, wouldn't it? Then at least I'd _know_ I had no chance at happiness!'

'Flame, really!' said Blaze. 'What _is_ the matter with you? You're going to marry Flicker, surely.'

'Oh, we're talking openly about that now, are we? Well, maybe I'm _not_ going to marry Flicker. How can I, if Daddy won't knight him, and he won't…?'

She cut herself off and turned her face away from Blaze, tears shining in her eyes.

'Sis,' said Blaze, sitting down on the edge of the bed. 'I don't think you're being entirely rational.'

Again, Flame snorted. 'Rational. Practical. _Right_!'

'Come over here and tell me all about it,' said Blaze, patting the mattress. Flame obeyed, and when she was seated he went on, 'What is it that Flicker won't do?'

'Well,' said Flame, 'for one thing, he won't say that he loves me.'

'Well of course he won't - not yet. But you know he _does_ love you, don't you?'

'Really? How do I know that?'

'Because it's obvious! Flame, I'm not stupid. I can see what's going on here, and there's a chance I might have overheard a little bit of the conversation you and Flicker were having in the cupboard that time. He's agreed to run away with you, hasn't he?'

'I'm not really sure,' said Flame. 'But yes, all right, I asked him. I think he said he'd come, but I sort of… stormed out… in a bit of a huff.' She looked sheepish.

'I know that if you left Camelhot,' said Blaze, 'Flicker would go with you, and he wouldn't if he didn't love you. You know he came here seeking knighthood. He certainly didn't intend to fall in love with the Princess, but now that he has, he's prepared to throw away his whole life for you. All his dreams… everything he's worked for…'

'He's not throwing anything away,' said Flame. 'There's nothing for him here! My father won't knight him!'

'He might.'

'He _won't_!'

'Flame,' said Blaze. 'Let me ask you a question. Why do you love Flicker?'

' _Why_?' said Flame. 'Well, let's see. He's honest, and brave, and chivalrous, and kind, and… we could be here for a while if I go on. Why did you ask me that, Blaze?'

'To remind you that if you love him, you have to love all the things about him. Those qualities you listed are all well and good, but what about the things that you feel are holding you back? His total and unconditional faith in the Code of Chivalry; his determination to do what's right; his unerring belief that he'll one day be a Knight of the Square Table, no matter how hopeless it might seem at times. You're asking him to give all that up, and he's going to, for _you_. And just what are you sacrificing for him, I wonder?'

'Well… Camelhot, obviously.'

'Oh? You wanted that very badly, did you?'

'Oh, shut up,' said Flame. 'I've told you, my father is not going to knight Flicker. It's better for him to give his dream up for me than give _me_ up for something that's never going to happen.'

'But it _is_ going to happen!' said Blaze. 'I'm sure of it. Flame, think of Flicker when he's talking about his dream of becoming a knight. Think of the look in his eyes. You can see how much it means to him.'

'Yes,' said Flame, 'I can. But Blaze, we've been waiting such a long time. Recently I've reminded Flicker _and_ my father of what happened to my mother. I can't let it happen to me. I still want to see Flicker knighted, and to rule Camelhot with him some day, just like I always have… and perhaps always will. How am I supposed to know when I've waited too long?'

'Well,' said Blaze, 'that's a toughie. But you're forgetting something else.'

'Oh, and what's that?'

'Your father loves you, more than anything else in the world, and he wants you to be happy. And I love you too, sis. I don't want you to go. Why, if worst comes to worst, I'll marry you to keep Mumsey quiet and then when you're Queen, I'll get myself lost at sea or something, and you can knight Flicker yourself and marry him then.'

Flame laughed a little, and said, 'You never know, I might just hold you to that. Oh, all right, fine! I won't run away just yet.' She got to her feet. 'I'd better go and tell Flicker it's all off, for now at least, and I want to say sorry for getting huffy at him.'

'Good girl,' said Blaze, smiling. 'And I'll tell Mumsey you've gone to bed, shall I?'

'Please.'

Flame went to the window and flew out into the night. Blaze looked at the crumpled dresses on the floor, tutting and shaking his head, then exited the room via the door.

* * *

Flame felt the ground beneath her feet, so she stopped flying. Something did not feel right, however - she could have sworn that she was standing on some kind of wooden surface rather than the stones of the courtyard. She looked down and saw that she appeared to be floating a few feet above the ground. Just as she was deciding that something strange was going on and that she should probably move, Flame heard a loud slam above her head.

'Heh-heh-heh! We've got her, boys!'

Flame looked up to see a metal roof blocking her view of the sky above. She looked back down to see that she was standing in a wooden cage, which appeared to be mounted on wheels.

'Blazing dragons,' said Flame, 'an invisible cage!'

'Yes, and you flew right into it, Princess,' said Count Geoffrey, emerging from the shadows. 'My trap could not have worked more perfectly - I feel just like a spider!'

'You really are very stupid, Geoffrey, aren't you?' Flame snarled. 'What is the point of trapping a dragon in a wooden cage? If you're going to bother doing that, you should at least chain her jaws shut first!'

'Ah, but that isn't necessary in this case,' said Count Geoffrey. 'Merle has enchanted this particular cage to make sure that you can't escape from it! Go ahead, try burning it - it won't do you any good!'

Flame scowled, and unleashed a sheet of fire at the wooden bars in front of her. Count Geoffrey's expression of cool confidence melted away as the cage flared up. There was a cracking sound, and then Flame emerged from the inferno. With a murderous look on her face, she marched straight up to Geoffrey, grabbed the front of his tunic and hoisted him into the air.

'Hey!' he squeaked. 'This is hardly appropriate behaviour for a princess, is it?'

'Do you have any idea what kind of a day I've had?' Flame roared, shaking Geoffrey violently. 'No, you don't, do you? And you don't care either! You just come barging in here with your invisible cage and your evil scheme and you expect me to fall in with your plans! Well I'm not doing it, do you hear me? You're just like my father!'

'I… I am?' said Count Geoffrey.

'Yes!' Flame declared. 'And Stepmother Griddle! Don't any of you realise that I have my own mind? For too long now I've been forced to do what others expect of me, or at least be seen to do it, but not anymore! I am the master of my own fate - not my father, not my stepmother, and certainly not you, Count Geoffrey! I simply won't have it! I'm -'

Two resounding cracks rang out and Flame pitched forward, collapsing against Count Geoffrey; he was forced to catch her awkwardly in his arms. Peering over Flame's shoulder, Geoffrey saw Evil Knights Numbers One and Three, each with a heavy cudgel in his hand.

'Did we do the right thing, dread Count Geoffrey?' asked Evil Knight Number Three.

'You did,' said Count Geoffrey. 'You did exactly the right thing - well done, boys!'

'I didn't think I'd ever hear you say that, Count Geoffrey,' said Evil Knight Number One.

'Believe me, neither did I,' said Count Geoffrey. 'But this time, just for once, you've done yourselves proud. Heh-heh-heh! Foolish girl - if she'd run away or attacked me as soon as she was free, I wouldn't have been able to do a thing to stop her. But she decided to hang around and vent her spleen at me, and that - ultimately - will prove to be Camelhot's undoing! Now, quickly - tie up her arms, legs, wings and snout, and let's get her out of here.'

'Can we still rescue Evil Knight Number Two?' asked Evil Knight Number Three. 'You did say we could try while we were here, Count Geoffrey.'

'Hmm… on the whole, I think we'd better not,' said Count Geoffrey. 'If Merle's magic cage had worked, we could have left it - and our guest - a little way outside the gates while we rescued Number Two… but now we're going to have to carry her, and I'd like to get back to Castle Threadbare before she wakes up.'

'But we really wanted to get Number Two out,' said Evil Knight Number One. 'He must be cold and lonely down in that dungeon.'

'How touching,' said Count Geoffrey. 'But don't worry - we'll rescue him very soon. After all, when Camelhot belongs to me, I can just waltz on down there and let him out, can't I? And Camelhot _will_ belong to me, very soon indeed. Heh-heh-heh-heh!'

* * *

'Ow!' said Sir Loungelot, as a large clump of his hair came away with the brush in Flicker's hand. 'What is the matter with you today, Flicker?'

'Nothing, Milord, sorry, Milord,' said Flicker.

'Now, I'm not having that. You've been abusing me all morning. Either you're doing it on purpose, or something's wrong.'

Flicker heaved an almighty sigh, and said, 'I just don't understand…'

'What?'

'Never mind.'

'You know, I'm getting pretty fed up of all this lovesick squire malarkey,' said Loungelot. 'Just when is King Allfire going to knight you, anyway?'

'I don't know. Probably never.'

' _Never_? Flicker, you're not yourself. What's happened?'

'I don't think I should say, Milord.'

'All right,' said Loungelot, frowning, 'but if you're not going to tell me, you'd better stop moping about and making a pig's ear of all your work. We're going down to breakfast now, all right?'

'As My Lord wishes,' said Flicker.

Loungelot shot him an exasperated look, then led the way down to the Great Hall, his squire trailing dejectedly at his heels. When they arrived at breakfast, everyone was seated except for Princess Flame, whose chair was empty. It was a moment before Flicker noticed this, but when he did he came out of his trance at once, and stared wide-eyed at the empty space to the left of King Allfire. In his turn, the King looked at Flicker, and relief washed over his face. Sir Blaze, meanwhile, swung his head from Flame's empty seat to where Flicker stood. Loungelot had never seen anyone look more confused.

'Flicker,' he hissed, as they made their way to the knights' table. 'What is going _on_?'

'I honestly don't know,' said Flicker, his gaze not leaving Flame's empty seat even as he walked. Then King Allfire caught his eye, and he looked away.

'Do have a care, Sir Charash, sir!' Sir Galahot was saying, as Loungelot took his seat. 'You'll get ketchup all over your label!'

'Oh dear, it gets everywhere!' Charash fretted, wiping his fingers on the tablecloth.

'Flicker!' said Sir Blaze, grabbing Flicker's elbow and pulling him violently away from Loungelot. 'Where's Flame?'

'I don't know,' said Flicker. 'She never… I don't _know_!'

'She never came back to your room last night?' said Blaze. 'Is that what you were going to say?'

'Yes. How did you know?'

'I happened to find her emptying her wardrobe last night, and I got her to tell me what was going on. I thought I'd talked her out of running away just yet, but then when she didn't appear this morning, I thought you must have gone together as planned. Then you walked in looking like your cat had just died, and now I don't know _what_ to think! You say she didn't come back and see you at all?'

'That's right. Not at all.'

Blaze looked thoughtful for a moment. He was about to speak again when King Allfire called across the room, 'I say, squire!' Flicker turned and went to him at once.

'I've honestly had enough of this,' Loungelot said quietly to Charash. 'Whose squire is he, anyway?'

'What exactly is happening?' asked Charash. 'Why is everyone so keen to talk to Flicker, Sir Loungelot?'

'Not everyone,' said Loungelot. 'Just Blaze and the King, and they want to know where the Princess is.'

'But why should Flicker know that?'

'Well, I might as well tell you. Everyone else seems to know… except perhaps the Queen. Flicker and the Princess have been in love with each other for a long time.'

'Oh, I see,' said Charash. 'Well, that might explain what she said to me in that fruit cellar yesterday.'

Sir Hotbreath overheard this, and said, 'What were you doing in the fruit cellar with the Princess?'

'Nothing,' said Charash. 'The Queen locked us in together.'

'Well, that's just asking for trouble,' said Sir Burnevere. 'No wonder the Princess has decided to frighten her by going into hiding.'

'Is that really what you think it is, Burnevere?' asked Blaze. 'She did say she was going to go and tell Flicker it was all off. I wonder why she never got there.'

'Tell him what was all off, sir?' asked Galahot.

Blaze hesitated for a moment. Then he leaned in closer to the other knights, and began, 'Well…'

King Allfire, meanwhile, was discussing the topic with Flicker.

'Do you know,' he said, 'I really thought, when I didn't see Flame this morning, that she'd run off with you. But you wouldn't go with her, would you, squire? I've noticed how rigidly you follow the Code of Chivalry - don't think I haven't! But look, Flicker, you wouldn't happen to know where she is, would you?'

'I'm afraid not, Your Majesty,' said Flicker, sounding utterly sick.

'Dear me, what a mess this has all become. Perhaps I should have just… Well, I daresay she's hiding to teach me a lesson. She does things like that, you know. She even burnt the Code of Chivalry yesterday - I was quite beside myself!'

'No! She didn't really _burn_ it, did she?'

'Yes, she did! But you'd better get back to your master, squire - he's shooting me dirty looks across the room.'

Flicker bowed, looking most perturbed, then trotted back to Sir Loungelot, who was waving his coffee cup impatiently in the air. Allfire watched him go, then turned back to his food, and found Queen Griddle glaring at him.

'What was _that_ all about?' she said. 'Why should a boot boy know where Flame is?'

'He's not a boot boy, Griddle,' said Allfire. 'Nobody here wears boots… except for Blaze sometimes. Now please, my dear, do not question me on this matter. I'll tell you everything when the time is right.'

Over at the knights' table, Loungelot was sipping on his coffee and looking sulkily over at Sir Blaze, who had once again commandeered Flicker.

'So in conclusion,' said Blaze, 'people are leaping to the conclusion that Flame is just hiding to annoy Mumsey or the King, and nothing bad has happened to her.'

'Perhaps no one wants to face the possibility that something _has_ happened,' said Flicker. 'You know how people try to shape reality by deciding on something and convincing themselves it's the truth.'

'For all we know, it might be true,' said Blaze. 'But then why didn't Flame go and talk to you again last night?'

'I think I upset her. Maybe she… went without me.'

'Oh, don't be stupid. She wouldn't do that just because you didn't feel comfortable using the L-word while being inside Camelhot still confined you to status.'

Flicker looked uncomfortable. 'Gosh, she really did tell you everything, didn't she?'

'Yes, which is why I'm completely baffled by her not being here. I think we should look for her after breakfast. If she _is_ hiding, we'll find her. If she isn't…'

'If she isn't,' said Flicker, ' _I'll_ find her, or die trying.'

'All right, good plan,' Blaze said uncertainly, as Flicker ran off to refill Loungelot's frantically waving coffee cup.

* * *

Evil Knights Numbers One and Three emerged from Castle Threadbare's least tumbledown tower and bolted the door behind them.

'So,' said Count Geoffrey, 'have you made our guest comfortable?'

'We've chained her up with all the chains we could find,' said Evil Knight Number One. 'Don't worry, she's not going anywhere.'

'She seems very groggy,' said Evil Knight Number Three, 'like she doesn't really know what's going on. Maybe we hit her too hard.'

'She's still alive, isn't she?' said Count Geoffrey.

'Yes,' said the two Evil Knights.

'Then you didn't hit her too hard,' said Count Geoffrey. 'Now, you two are to stand there and guard that door with your lives until our backup arrives, okay?'

'Yes, Count Geoffrey,' said Evil Knight Number One.

'Whatever you say, Count Geoffrey,' said Evil Knight Number Three.

'Heh-heh-heh, I can feel Camelhot within my grasp already!' said Count Geoffrey. 'All we need to do now is -'

'Hi, Geoff. How did it go?'

Count Geoffrey whirled around to see a short, ugly figure standing a few feet away from him.

'Ah, Merle, there you are,' he said. 'It went well - very well! Princess Flame is now my prisoner, and soon Camelhot will be mine! Are your - heh-heh-heh! - _friends_ on their way to help us guard her?'

'Yes, the Celts are on their way, for all the good they're likely to do you,' Merle sniffed. 'I don't know why you won't hand the Princess over to me - I can put her somewhere far, far beyond the reach of those dragons!'

'My castle will be far beyond their reach when I've got an army of hired butchers defending it!' said Count Geoffrey. 'Besides, I've rather lost faith in your magic, witch - that so-called escape-proof cage of yours just burst into flames when the Princess attacked it!'

'No!' Merle hissed. 'No, it cannot be true! But it is true… I see that now.'

'What's true?' asked Count Geoffrey.

'Castle Camelhot - and all who live there - are now immune to my magic!' Merle snarled. 'I did not want to believe that this could happen… but it has.'

'How?' asked Count Geoffrey.

'I gave the dragons my word that if Sir Blaze completed my quest, I would leave them alone forever,' said Merle.

'But you never keep your word!'

'No more did I intend to this time, Geoff! But Camelhot is - and always has been - protected by some ancient magic that I do not fully understand. By giving my word to King Allfire within the castle's walls, I seem to have shot myself in the foot; I can no longer use my magic against Camelhot, ever.'

'Well, in that case,' said Count Geoffrey, 'you're no longer any use to me, are you?'

'Just as you, Geoff, are no use to me!' Merle snarled. 'What do you intend to do with your prisoner now?'

'I shall ransom her, of course,' said Count Geoffrey. 'In exchange for Camelhot, Allfire gets Princess Flame - neat and simple! The dragon knights won't be able to rescue her without paying up - the Celts will see to that! This time, they can't foil my plan; this time, I have those dragons just where I want them!'

'So it would seem,' said Merle. 'But then appearances are sometimes deceptive, Geoff, aren't they?'

'Begone, witch! I've had more than enough of you!'

'I'm going, and you won't be seeing me again! But you should beware of overreliance on a single source of leverage, Geoff. You never know when an unexpected source of interference might turn up… and snap your lever right off!'

'You're not making any sense, Merle,' said Count Geoffrey. 'Just get out of my castle, or I'll throw you out!'

Merle said no more, but fixed Count Geoffrey with a superior smile as she melted away into the ether.

'Loathsome old crone,' muttered Count Geoffrey. 'Let's just hope we _have_ seen the last of her. Now, I must find my writing case.'

'What are you going to write, dread Count Geoffrey?' asked Evil Knight Number Three.

'A ransom note, of course!' said Geoffrey. 'And I'll get my Evil Spy to deliver it to Camelhot just as soon as those Celts turn up. I've done it, boys - no one can stop me now!'

'Wow,' said Evil Knight Number One, 'it's really going to happen! After all this time, Camelhot is ours.'

'No!' snarled Count Geoffrey. ' _Mine_.'

* * *

Flicker was walking along a corridor, looking sick with anxiety, when Sir Blaze popped out from behind a suit of armour.

'Not in there,' he said.

'Sir Blaze,' said Flicker. 'You don't really think that Flame would hide in a suit of armour just to annoy her father, do you?'

'No, but we're leaving no stone unturned, aren't we?'

'I don't think she's anywhere in the castle. Maybe she did run away without me… just to clear her head… and she'll come back.'

'Surely _you're_ not trying to shape reality with your thoughts, Flicker,' said Blaze. 'Flame definitely said she was going to see you, and you were expecting her to, weren't you? I do think it might be search party time. Let's go and find the King.'

They made their way to the Square Table chamber, where King Allfire was pacing up and down in front of the window. Queen Griddle was there too, sitting at the table and watching her husband with a look of concern. When Blaze and Flicker entered, Allfire stopped pacing and turned to face them.

'Well?' he said. 'Have you found her yet?'

'No sign, Your Majesty,' said Blaze. 'She doesn't seem to be anywhere in the castle.'

As he spoke, Sir Loungelot and Sir Hotbreath entered the room, and both shook their heads helplessly at the King.

'Right then,' said Allfire. 'The time for action has come. We need to get out there and look for her. Does anyone have any idea where she might have gone?'

'Dunstable?' said Sir Hotbreath.

'Singetagel Castle?' said Sir Blaze.

Sirs Burnevere, Galahot and Charash all filed into the room as they spoke, looking as lost as everyone else.

'What about you three?' demanded Griddle. 'Do you have any idea where Flame might have run away to? Charash, you were in the fruit cellar with her, by that happy coincidence. Did she say anything about running away?'

'Well,' said Charash, looking rather frightened, 'actually…'

'Urgent news for King Allfire!' a shrill voice shouted, and then Cinder and Clinker ran into the room clutching a scroll, which they held out to the King. Allfire took it, broke the seal and unrolled the message. Everyone watched, holding their breath, as he read down the length of the parchment with an expression of increasing horror.

'Blazing dragons!' he cried. 'Flame isn't hiding at all. She's been kidnapped!'


	3. Chapter 3

In a puff of smoke and a flash of lightning, Merle the Wizard materialised in a darkened room.

'I got good news for you,' she said to a cloaked figure in a corner. 'If you want Camelhot, now's your chance to get it. Princess Flame is in Castle Threadbare. She's all chained up and pretty out of it.'

'So?' the figure said, in a voice cracked from lack of use, and perhaps emotion.

' _So_? So you can go kill her! You'd be a fool not to. Just make sure you do it before Allfire hands Camelhot over to Geoffrey and gets the Princess back, all right?'

'What if I don't?'

'Hey, no skin off my nose. But you will. I know you. And if you succeed, hey, maybe I'll look you up someday. Right now, though, I have my fingers in a lot of other pies - way bigger and tastier pies than Camelhot. See you around, kid!'

With that, Merle disappeared in smoke and lightning, her cackle echoing in the darkness even after she was gone.

* * *

Flicker emerged from a tower doorway and skidded to a halt on the ramparts, where he found Sir Loungelot, Sir Blaze, Sir Burnevere, Sir Galahot, Sir Hotbreath and Sir Charash standing in a neat line, all armed and ready for battle.

'Oh good, you haven't left yet,' said Flicker. 'I'm coming too!'

'Of course you are, Flicker,' said Sir Blaze.

'We knew you'd want to,' said Sir Burnevere.

'Well, let's not stand around here all day!' said Flicker. 'Come on, let's go!'

'We're not supposed to leave just yet, Flicker,' said Sir Loungelot. 'King Allfire wants to talk to us before we go.'

'King Allfire wants to talk… but this is an emergency!' said Flicker. 'Doesn't he realise that the longer we hang around here, the more danger Flame could be in?'

'Geoffrey needs her alive if he's planning to hold her to ransom,' said Sir Galahot. 'I'm sure -'

'Well I'm not sure!' said Flicker. 'I can't be sure, and neither can the rest of you! We need to leave, and we need to do it right now!'

'Well,' said Sir Loungelot, 'when you put it like that, perhaps…'

'It's all right,' said Sir Hotbreath, 'the King is about to arrive.'

Hotbreath pointed to a tower opposite the one through which Flicker had arrived. Everyone turned their heads to see King Allfire emerging onto the ramparts.

'Ah, good, you're all here,' he said. 'As I'm sure you're well aware, I am relying on you to save my daughter and my kingdom. And see if you can capture Count Geoffrey and his Evil Knights while you're at it, then we can chuck them into the dungeon with their friend - I've rather had enough of them, to be honest with you.'

'My Liege,' said Sir Loungelot, 'it will be done.'

'I wish I could come with you,' King Allfire sighed, 'but I fear I really am too old for battle now, and I'd probably just hold you up.'

'Oh no, Your Majesty!' said Sir Blaze. 'That simply isn't true.'

'It's very kind of you to say that, Sir Blaze,' said King Allfire, 'but you are quite wrong, I'm afraid. Well, that was all I wanted to say, really. Good luck, everyone.'

With that, King Allfire turned around and shuffled back down the tower stairway.

'That was pointless,' Flicker grumbled. 'We already knew -'

'Come now, Flicker,' said Sir Loungelot, squeezing Flicker's shoulder, 'let's just get on with it, shall we? Knights, forward!'

They all spread their wings and rose into the air.

* * *

'Look,' said Sir Charash, 'there's a rider down there.'

'He's waving at us,' said Sir Burnevere.

'I think he's trying to attract our attention,' said Sir Galahot.

'We don't have time for distractions!' said Flicker. 'Come on, we have to get to Castle Threadbare!'

'Wait a moment,' said Sir Hotbreath, 'that's the Puce Knight! I wonder what he's doing here.'

'I think we should go down and find out what he wants,' said Sir Charash.

'He does seem very keen to talk to us,' said Sir Loungelot. 'I know it seems like just another delay, Flicker, but we really must go down - we might regret it later if we don't.'

'Very well, Milord,' said Flicker. 'You're right, I suppose.'

The seven dragons curved in the air as they flew towards the ground. They landed in a circle around the mounted figure in puce armour.

'Ah, the Knights of the Square Table,' the familiar voice from behind the solid helmet said approvingly. 'I have come to warn you that you are flying towards great peril.'

'We already know that!' said Flicker. 'Flame's the one who's in great peril, and we're going to rescue her!'

'Acting with undue haste is invariably worse than failing to act at all,' said the Puce Knight. 'Forewarned is forearmed… and you, my hot-headed young friend, are neither.'

'Flicker didn't mean to speak with such disrespect,' said Sir Hotbreath. 'It's just that he's worried about Princess Flame… as are we all, of course.'

'And so you should be,' said the Puce Knight. 'But if you had gone charging in to save her without first knowing what is waiting for you, you might have found yourselves at something of a disadvantage. Count Geoffrey has filled his castle with mercenaries, and they are ready and willing to do all they can to stop you rescuing Princess Flame.'

'So,' said Sir Galahot, 'it seems that Geoffrey has realised that he needs more than two henchmen to put up a decent fight against a sizeable group of dragons - how tiresome that the penny should finally drop now!'

'Mercenaries,' Flicker said scathingly. 'Seven dragons fighting to save their princess and their kingdom are worth more than an entire army of hired human soldiers!'

'I hope with all my heart that you are right on that count,' said the Puce Knight, 'because your theory is about to be tested.'

'What manner of mercenaries are these, exactly?' asked Sir Burnevere.

'Savage barbarians,' said the Puce Knight, 'from the border country, beyond the Vale of Evesham.'

'You mean Celts,' Sir Loungelot said distastefully.

'Well, Celts or no Celts, sir, we shall prevail!' said Sir Galahot.

'Too right!' said Sir Burnevere.

'Yes,' said Sir Blaze, 'we can't let anything stop us now.'

'But thank you for the warning,' Sir Charash added.

'I knew that this news would not entice you to turn back,' said the Puce Knight. 'I shall journey with you to Castle Threadbare, and join you in your mission to save Princess Flame.'

'You will?' said Sir Hotbreath. 'That's jolly decent of you. I don't think any of us expected…'

'Do you not remember what I said the last time we met?' said the Puce Knight. 'The Knights of the Square Table have my respect, and - should they find themselves in need of it - they have my loyalty also. And now, I think, they do need it.'

'We are very grateful, Puce Knight,' said Sir Blaze, 'for your warning and for your help. Now, let's get moving, shall we?'

'Lead the way, my friends,' said the Puce Knight. 'I won't be far behind.'

* * *

'All right,' said Count Geoffrey, standing in Castle Threadbare's antechamber with his hands on his hips, surrounded by large, hairy warriors all wearing fierce expressions. 'So I got some Celts outside; some just inside the entrance; some at the entrance to the tower; some decoy Celts all round the place…'

He paused to wince as the sound of stonework falling in, punctuated with screams, filled the castle. Then, once the interruption was over, he carried on.

'…and two right outside her door. Good, we're all set to fight off those dragons and make them hand over Camelhot. Come on then, dragons! We're ready for you! Heh-heh- what do you want?' he asked irritably, as Evil Knight Number Three approached him with a worried look on his face. 'You haven't let her escape, have you?'

'No, boss, she's chained up real good,' said Evil Knight Number Three. 'I just thought you should know a dragon flew in through one of the upstairs windows.'

'The windows!' Geoffrey slapped his forehead. 'I knew I'd forgotten something. Well, that's okay - they can't get up to the tower, right? Her only air hole is that little arrow slit. It's not crumbling away or anything, is it?'

'No,' said Evil Knight Number Three. 'The arrow slit is fine, and the dragon isn't trying to rescue the Princess anyway. He says he wants to help us.'

'He wants to…? Just who is this dragon, Number Three?'

'I don't know, I never saw him before.'

'Grrr!' said Count Geoffrey, his left eye twitching. 'All right, you'd better bring him to see me.'

Evil Knight Number Three trotted off obediently, and returned almost at once with Evil Knight Number One and a large dragon. Both Evil Knights had their swords out, pointed at the dragon's back.

'Count Geoffrey, I presume,' said the dragon. 'Will you please tell your henchmen to put their swords away? I really have come to help.'

'Not yet,' said Geoffrey. 'Who are you? What are you doing here?'

'Well, I heard you'd captured the Princess of Camelhot. Those dragons are my enemies too, you see, and… what's that saying? My enemy's enemy is my friend?'

'I caught him trying to fight the Celts to get in her room, dread Count Geoffrey,' said Evil Knight Number One.

'I wasn't fighting them,' said the dragon. 'I just wanted to see for myself that you really had captured my despised cousin. I am Scorchred, King Allfire's evil nephew.'

Count Geoffrey raised his eyebrows. 'Are you now? All right, dragon, I'm listening.'

'My uncle despises me,' said Scorchred, 'and I him. He has caused me much suffering over the years, and now I wish to pay him back. I can think of no better way to clear all debts than to deprive him of his only and beloved daughter.'

'That's not what this is,' said Geoffrey. 'He's getting her back.'

'Oh, yes… that's right. Still, we can make him squirm, can't we?'

'Maybe. You'd better come along with me and we'll discuss it.'

* * *

'Look,' said Evil Knight Number One, 'they're coming.'

'Aren't there more of them than usual?' said Evil Knight Number Three.

'Um… yes, I think there are,' said Evil Knight Number One. 'But there're more of us too! Even the dragons can't defeat all those Celts… can they?'

'I don't know,' said Evil Knight Number Three. 'I sure hope not.'

'Come on,' said Evil Knight Number One, 'we'd better tell Count Geoffrey.'

They ran down from the ramparts into the courtyard, where they found Count Geoffrey in conversation with Scorchred.

'Forgive me if I'm being stupid, but I still don't really see how we can help each other,' said Count Geoffrey. 'I've got Princess Flame, after all - why do I need you?'

'I have a legitimate claim to the throne of Camelhot,' said Scorchred. 'I could be very useful to you, Count Geoffrey.'

'But I don't want you on the throne of Camelhot,' said Count Geoffrey. 'I want it for myself!'

'Every successful usurper needs an embittered blood relative on his side,' said Scorchred. 'That's a very basic but very important rule of this kind of warfare. Should anyone try to claim that you have no right to Camelhot, you can use my blood as a powerful weapon.'

'Camelhot will be mine by right of conquest - I need no other right!' Count Geoffrey snarled. 'There's nothing for you here, dragon, so why don't you just… bah, what do you two want?'

'Count Geoffrey, they're coming!' squeaked Evil Knight Number One.

'All the Knights of the Square Table are on their way,' Evil Knight Number Three elaborated. 'They'll be here in less than a minute!'

'I knew they'd try to rescue their precious princess,' said Count Geoffrey, 'but they're in for a nasty surprise. Rally the Celts!'

'I'll see to that,' said Scorchred, rushing towards the nearest gaggle of mercenaries.

'No, not you, Scorchred!' Count Geoffrey called in annoyance.

'Count Geoffrey, they're here!' Evil Knight Number One cried, pointing up at the large silhouette that had just flown over the castle wall.

'Then get ready to fight, you cowards!' said Count Geoffrey, drawing his sword. 'Where are those Celts? Get over here and do what I'm paying you to do, you useless barbarians!'

Geoffrey was pleased to find himself surrounded by armoured warriors before the first dragon had landed in the courtyard. The throng of Celts was suddenly beset by several jets of flame from above, while the dragons on the ground attempted to break through their ranks with swords and brute strength.

'Count Geoffrey,' said Evil Knight Number Three, 'where did that rainbow come from?'

Geoffrey whirled around to see a very solid-looking rainbow arching over the wall of his castle. As he watched in astonishment, a puce-armoured horse clattered across the top of the rainbow as though it were a bridge, carrying its puce-armoured rider into the courtyard. Immediately, the Puce Knight began to lay about the Celts with his sword.

'I see the dragons have recruited some outside help as well,' said Count Geoffrey. 'Well, it won't do them any good - there are far too many Celts for them to handle!'

But even as Geoffrey spoke, Flicker forced his way through the last line of Celts and charged towards him with a murderous look in his eyes.

'Where is she, Geoffrey?' Flicker growled, brandishing his sword.

'I might've known you'd turn up,' Count Geoffrey sneered. 'The lovesick little dragon, trying to save his princess… but you're trying in vain, my friend.'

'I assure you that I'll be trying with everything I've got,' said Flicker, 'so I can't be trying in vain, whatever the final outcome.'

'They do say that love makes fools of everyone,' said Geoffrey, 'and now it seems that you are the biggest fool of all! Evil Knights, deal with him!'

Flicker lunged at Count Geoffrey, but found himself fighting Evil Knights Numbers One and Three instead. Keeping his head down, Geoffrey dashed through the throng of fighting Celts and dragons.

'No one will take my prize,' Geoffrey muttered to himself. 'I won't let them!'

He reached the door of Flame's tower and charged through it, brushing the guards aside on his way.

* * *

Flame sat hunched up by the wall, frustrated to find that she had not the strength even to struggle against her chains. She managed to move her head feebly, but stopped when she heard sounds coming from outside the door: a struggle involving a lot of shouting in Welsh accents, then a key turning in the lock. The door opened; a sliver of light illuminated the darkened room, and Flame's eyes widened in surprise and alarm when she saw who her visitor was. Scorchred crossed the room, crouched down in front of her and wrenched the chains from her muzzle.

'Hello, Flame,' he said.

'Scorchred,' said Flame, with less venom and more of a slur than she would have liked. 'What are you doing here? You don't know Count Geoffrey, do you?'

'Well, I do now. Clingy little man, isn't he? He didn't want to let me out of his sight, but then your friends started to arrive, and… well, here I am.'

'Yes,' said Flame. 'Here you are. Now what do you want?'

'You know what I want, Flame.' Scorchred remained crouching in front of her all the time he spoke. 'I want Camelhot, just like Count Geoffrey does. When his men caught me I told him I was here to help him, but that was a lie. I really can't do that. If I help prevent your rescue and persuade dear Uncle Allfire to hand over his castle, Geoffrey will move in with his Evil Knights, and then where does that leave me? I'll have no claim without an uncle on the throne. No, you see, a better option would be for me to kill you right now so that Geoffrey has to back out of his little swap, and possibly get killed by your father or your favourite boy. Then I could wait to inherit the throne, or even better, I could go and take it by force this very afternoon. Maybe I could persuade a few of those Celts to join me, if I promise them a little something from the royal fortune.

'But of course,' Scorchred went on, rising to his full height, 'we could save ourselves the bother. I could take you out of here right now - kick in that arrow slit, maybe - and take you home to Daddy. That's not a bad idea, is it? Yes, I could do that. If…'

Flame's eyes lost some of their dazed look, and narrowed. 'If what?'

' _If_ you marry me.'

'Never!' At last Flame was able to struggle in her chains, but to no avail.

'Pity,' said Scorchred. 'It would have saved me a lot of bother. As long as I was the undisputed heir - or married to her, which amounts to the same thing - I wouldn't have minded waiting. But as it is…'

Suddenly Scorchred's eyes glowed with malice. He drew his sword and held it out towards Flame, who shrank back as much as she could before emitting a jet of fire at her evil cousin. Scorchred sidestepped it, threw himself down at Flame's side and clamped her jaws shut with both hands. Then he wrapped one arm around her muzzle and groped for her discarded chains with his free hand.

'Nice try, Princess,' he said, as he chained her mouth shut again, barely hampered by Flame's struggles and the thin tongues of flame snaking from between her jaws. 'But you really can't fight me all chained up like that.'

He got to his feet, so that he towered over her, and again raised his sword. Just as he did so, Count Geoffrey came running into the room looking harangued, and skidded to a halt some feet from the two dragons.

'Scorchred!' he said. 'I'd forgotten about you. What do you think you're doing? I need her alive, you idiot!'

'Oh yes?' Scorchred lowered his sword and stalked over to Geoffrey. 'Well, I don't.'

'What is this?' said Geoffrey. 'Wait a minute - did you kill those two guards? Just who in blue blazes _are_ you, anyway?'

'I am exactly who I said I was.'

'All right, that makes sense, if you came here to double-cross me. But how did you know…? Wait a minute - I've heard your name before! A while ago… Merle mentioned you. She sent you, didn't she? That traitorous old hag!'

Geoffrey reached for his sword, but Scorchred was too quick for him. He raised his own sword and hit Geoffrey on the head with the flat of the blade. The evil count swayed on the spot, then fell on his face. Scorchred stooped down and lifted Geoffrey's chin, taking a mere moment to check for signs of life. Seeing none, he let the count's head drop back onto the stone floor, and gave a malicious chuckle.

'Merle was right,' he said, sneering down at Geoffrey's prostrate form. 'None of those Celts are up to much, and nor is their paymaster. Now then.' He turned back towards Princess Flame. 'I'm sorry to do this, Flame, but if you're going to be stubborn… Tell you what, though, I'll do you a little favour. As soon as I've cut your pretty little head off, I'll find your servant boyfriend and send him to join you.'

As Scorchred advanced with sword raised, Flame's eyes widened in alarm. She summoned all of the strength she had left and struggled as hard as she could, screaming wordless protests through the chains that bound her mouth.

* * *

'Milord!' Flicker yelled, bursting out of a group of Celts to stand beside Sir Loungelot. 'Count Geoffrey went into that tower - he must be holding Flame there!'

'Yes,' said Sir Loungelot, 'I saw him too. Shall we make a run for it, Flicker? I'm sure the others can finish off these savages without us.'

'Especially with the Puce Knight to help them - he seems to be everywhere at once!' said Flicker. 'Yes, we have to save Flame, and we have to do it now - Geoffrey could be doing anything to her up there!'

'He won't harm her, Flicker,' said Sir Loungelot. 'She's much too valuable to him. Come on, follow me.'

Sir Loungelot and Flicker fought their way through to the tower, each knocking out a guard as they burst through the door. Flicker slammed it shut behind them, just as Sir Loungelot spotted a large bolt. He slammed the metal bar home, locking them in.

'There,' he said, 'that should stop any of those barbarians following us.'

'So now it's just us and Count Geoffrey,' said Flicker, mounting the staircase at a run.

'Yes,' said Sir Loungelot, hurrying up behind him, 'with any luck.'

Flicker stopped abruptly when he found himself about to trip over a pair of Celts just outside the tower room door.

'Why are these two dead?' he asked.

'Eww, are they?' said Loungelot. 'Maybe they're just unconscious.'

'But why…?'

Flicker took a moment to puzzle over this. Then Flame's screams, muffled by chains though they were, reached his ears. He came to his senses, leapt over both Celts and burst into the room. He was not prepared for the sight that met his eyes. He glanced down at Count Geoffrey, either dead or unconscious, and then looked up at the dragon standing over Flame with his sword raised.

'What the…?' said Flicker.

Scorchred stopped what he was doing and turned round.

'Oh,' said Flicker. 'It's you.'

'Flicker!' said Scorchred. 'Brilliant! Now I can force Flame to watch you die before I kill her.'

Eyes glinting madly, he advanced on Flicker, who drew his sword and went straight into the attack. Scorchred at once parried the blow, and retaliated with a lunge at Flicker's throat. Within moments, Loungelot had drawn his own sword and joined the fight.

'Wait!' said Scorchred, and all three paused, swords raised. 'This is not chivalrous, men! Surely there's some rule in your Code of Chivalry about even battle ratios.'

'He's right, Milord,' said Flicker. 'There is. We can't both fight him.'

'I'll do it, then,' said Loungelot. 'You unchain the Princess and get her out of here. And you, Scorchred, you diseased rat's chamber pot! Prepare to die!'

Loungelot lunged forward, laying into his opponent, while Flicker sheathed his sword. He turned, threw himself down beside Flame and removed the chains from her mouth, much more gently than Scorchred had done earlier.

'Where have you been?' she demanded, rather sleepily.

'I'm sorry, Flame,' said Flicker, setting to work on the chains around her wings. 'We didn't know you'd been kidnapped until the ransom note came, and we certainly didn't know your evil cousin Scorchred would be here trying to kill you. Are you all right? You sound really groggy.'

'They hit me on the head,' she said pathetically.

'What? The despicable cads! Have they no honour?'

'Obviously not.'

'No, of course not,' said Flicker, who had begun looking for some end to the chains around her arms so that he could begin to unravel them, while Loungelot and Scorchred's swords clashed noisily behind him.

'Flicker… I'm sorry…'

'Don't be sorry for anything. We can discuss all that later if you like, but right now we need to get you home.'

As he finished speaking, there came a heavy clunk behind him. Flame raised her eyes, and Flicker looked round to see Sir Loungelot standing with one foot on Scorchred's prostrate form.

'Well,' said Loungelot, stepping over his floored foe, 'that takes care of him. Now, let's see about these chains. A bit fiddly, are they, Flicker?'

'Well done, Sir Loungelot,' said Flame, as the knight knelt down and joined in the effort to free her. 'You really did save the day that time, didn't you?' She was unable to keep the note of disappointment from her voice.

'I helped, certainly,' said Loungelot. 'Well, I don't know! Say what you like about Geoffrey's Evil Knights, but their chaining of prisoners skills are first - aah!'

Flicker and Flame both looked up in alarm as Loungelot was suddenly whisked away and hurled across the room, where he landed on Count Geoffrey. This woke Geoffrey up at once.

'Oof!' he said, freeing one arm to rub his head. 'What on earth is going on here?'

'Don't move, Count Geoffrey!' said Loungelot, his massive bulk obscuring all but Geoffrey's head and arm. 'You're coming with me… in a minute.'

So saying, Loungelot's gaze shot over to the other three dragons. Scorchred now had Flicker pinned under his right foot, and was hauling Flame to her feet by the chains still binding her.

'All right!' said Scorchred, steam issuing from his mouth and nostrils. 'Her first!'

Loungelot reached for his sword, then saw to his horror that Scorchred had taken it from him, and was wielding it as well as his own.

'Eek!' said Loungelot, scrambling into a kneeling position and then hauling Geoffrey up by the front of his tunic. 'Geoffrey, we're going to have to team up to defeat a common enemy! It's not in your interests to have the Princess dead, is it?'

'Well,' Geoffrey began, but he was cut off by a howl of pain. In perfect unison, he and Loungelot swivelled their heads to see Scorchred reeling backwards across the room, looking as though he might fall at any moment, his right foot half severed.

'Nasty,' said Loungelot, wincing.

Flicker was on his feet, his sword in front of him, advancing on Scorchred with a most uncharacteristic look of fury.

'No one touches my princess and lives!' he said.

'You jolly nearly cut off my foot, you little whelp!' wailed Scorchred. 'I'll get you for that!'

While Flame fought frantically against the loosened chains, Scorchred lunged at Flicker with both swords, almost toppling over but somehow staying upright. Flicker dodged the blow, stepped nimbly backwards and pulled Count Geoffrey's sword from its sheath with a screech of metal. Then, as Scorchred lunged and faltered on his injured foot with a yelp of pain, Flicker made his move. His two blades flashed in the shaft of light from the arrow slit; there was a sound like a knife through a melon, and then a thud. Flicker stepped back and surveyed his handiwork, quite out of breath.

'Flicker!' said Loungelot, still holding onto Geoffrey. 'You did it!'

'I did, didn't I?' said Flicker.

'I didn't know you had it in you,' said Geoffrey. 'I've never once seen you even _try_ to kill an enemy.'

'Don't be stupid, Count Geoffrey,' said Flicker, dropping Geoffrey's sword and sheathing his own. 'There's nothing in the Code of Chivalry about not killing people who deserve it to save your own life… or, more importantly, someone else's.'

With that, Flicker turned and once again threw himself down at Flame's side. She had managed to loosen her chains, and it was easy enough for Flicker to unravel them.

'Flicker!' she said. 'You saved my life!'

'And I caught Count Geoffrey!' said Loungelot.

'Quite so,' said Flicker, as the last of the chains fell to the ground with a clunk. 'And now we'd better get you both back to Camelhot. Here, Flame, lean on me.'

She swayed as he helped her to her feet, but managed to put her arms around his shoulders and stay upright. He held onto her waist as they made their way slowly from the room behind Loungelot, who was carrying Count Geoffrey over his shoulder. Though he looked angry Geoffrey was, at least for the moment, quiet and resigned.


	4. Chapter 4

Sir Loungelot unbolted the tower door and led the way back out into the courtyard; Flicker followed, taking most of Flame's weight. They were pleased to see that the scene was far less hectic than when they had left it. Three trussed figures stood nearby, looking very sorry for themselves. Each one was being held by a dragon. Sir Blaze had a firm grip on Evil Knight Number One, while Sir Burnevere was looking after Evil Knight Number Three. Sir Galahot was restraining a third human figure, while Sir Hotbreath, Sir Charash and the Puce Knight were chasing the last few Celts across the drawbridge.

'Loungey,' called Sir Blaze, 'you did it! Or, er… did you do it, Flicker?'

'We both did it,' said Flicker. 'Sir Loungelot captured Count Geoffrey.'

'And Flicker rescued Princess Flame,' said Sir Loungelot. 'You won't hear me trying to take credit for that one.'

'The Celts will menace us no longer, my friends,' said the Puce Knight, as he, Sir Hotbreath and Sir Charash came to join the throng. 'We are victorious.'

'Then I suggest, sirs, that we take these prisoners back to Camelhot with all haste,' said Sir Galahot.

'Yes, and Flame needs to have a good, long rest,' said Flicker. 'By the way, Sir Galahot, speaking of prisoners, who's yours?'

'I have captured the Evil Spy, sir!' Sir Galahot said proudly. 'He was disguised as a Celt.'

'How do you know he's not a real Celt?' asked Sir Loungelot.

'When I attacked him, none of the other Celts ran to his aid,' said Sir Galahot, 'so I knew it must be him! Anyway, he admits it. Listen. Are you a spy, sir?'

'Yes,' croaked Galahot's prisoner, 'I am a spy.'

'You see!' said Sir Galahot.

'Ah, well done, Sir Galahot,' said Sir Loungelot. 'Come then, my friends - let's go home.'

'Are we flying or walking?' asked Sir Charash.

'We'd better walk, hadn't we?' said Sir Blaze. 'Four airborne prisoners would be rather heavy, wouldn't they?'

'Aye,' said Sir Burnevere, 'it will be a victory march!'

'In that case,' said Sir Charash, 'I volunteer to fly back to Camelhot with all speed, and inform King Allfire of the complete success of our mission.'

'Yes, of course, he'll want to know as soon as possible, won't he?' said Sir Blaze. 'You really are a marvel, Charash - you think of everything, don't you?'

'Oh, I just tell it how I see it,' said Sir Charash, blushing slightly.

As Charash took off and flew back towards Camelhot at top speed, the rest of the knights formed a procession.

'Flicker, I think we'd better find or construct some sort of stretcher to carry Princess Flame,' Sir Loungelot said gently.

'Thank you, Milord, but I'll carry her myself,' said Flicker.

'I have a suggestion,' said the Puce Knight. 'Allow me to carry the Princess - I am, after all, the only one with a mount.'

'I'd sooner take her myself,' said Flicker, 'thanks all the same.'

'Very well, then,' said the Puce Knight, and he leapt down from his horse. 'You can borrow my horse, and I'll walk.'

The Puce Knight helped Flicker to climb into the saddle, and Sir Loungelot and Sir Blaze carefully lifted Flame up to join him. The procession left Castle Threadbare with Flicker and Flame at its head, and Sir Loungelot bringing up the rear with Count Geoffrey still slung over one shoulder.

* * *

Evil Knight Number Two looked up in surprise as his cell door swung open and four human figures were shoved inside.

'We thought you might be getting lonely,' Sir Burnevere's voice emerged from the darkness beyond the cell, 'so here are some playmates for you.'

'We hope you all enjoy each other's company,' added Sir Hotbreath, 'because you're going to be in there for a long time!'

'Come back!' Count Geoffrey shouted, finding his voice again at last. 'Come back and let me out, you stupid dragons! No cell can hold me, do you hear? I shall escape someday, and take my revenge on you all!'

'They've gone, Count Geoffrey,' said Evil Knight Number One.

'Wow, I can't believe you're all here,' said Evil Knight Number Two. 'I've missed you all so much, and now we're back together again.'

'Yes, but we're prisoners!' Count Geoffrey fumed. 'Merle! Merle, where are you? Come and get us out of this right now, you stupid witch!'

'Merle's not going to help us, Count Geoffrey,' said Evil Knight Number Three. 'Not now, and not ever. But didn't you say that you were glad to see the last of her?'

'Yeah,' said the Evil Spy, 'and you always wanted to live in Camelhot, didn't you? Well, now you do.'

'But I didn't want to live in the dungeon,' Count Geoffrey wailed, 'especially not with you four dunderheads for company!'

'Well, I think this is wonderful,' said Evil Knight Number Two. 'We're all back together again.'

'Yeah,' said Evil Knight Number One, 'and as long as we're together, what else really matters?'

'I don't know about you guys,' said Evil Knight Number Three, 'but I've started to feel an inner peace that I've never felt before, and I like that feeling a lot.'

'Yeah, me too,' said the Evil Spy.

'And me,' said Evil Knight Number One.

'And me,' said Evil Knight Number Two.

'No, no, no, no, no!' Count Geoffrey wept, sinking to his knees. 'This can't be happening! This is the worst day of my life!'

As the three Evil Knights and the Evil Spy moved in for a group hug, Count Geoffrey buried his face in his hands and cried noisily.

* * *

Flame was overwhelmed by the volume of people who had gathered in the throne room to witness her safe return. As Flicker helped her to stumble through a gap in the throng, she caught sight of Cinder and Clinker, Chef Turnspit, the Chancellor and even the Minstrel. King Allfire rose from his throne and hurried up to Flame, taking her hands in his.

'Thank goodness, Flame,' he said.

'Daddy,' she said, 'I'm so sorry for everything - for running away and for burning the Code and for ripping the curtains and for badgering you so much and for -'

'It doesn't matter,' said King Allfire. 'None of it matters. Now, come and lie down over here - Cinder and Clinker have prepared a comfy couch for you - while your stepmother and I listen to the tale of your rescue.'

Flicker helped Flame to sit down and then recline on the couch. He then made to slink off into the crowd, but she kept a firm grip on his arm.

'Flame,' Flicker hissed, 'I should join the others now.'

'No, Flicker,' said Flame, 'you should stay here with me.'

'A princess has no need of a lowly squire to attend her,' said Queen Griddle, peering down from her throne.

'So, Stepmother,' said Flame, 'you _do_ know what Flicker's job is after all! But he stays here with me, and that's an end to the matter.'

'Well then,' said King Allfire, before Queen Griddle could retort, 'who will tell us the tale of the daring rescue of my beloved daughter, and the final defeat of the evil Count Geoffrey?'

'Sir Loungelot will tell us!' said Queen Griddle.

'Er… would that please you, Your Majesty?' Sir Loungelot asked the King.

'Yes, I think perhaps it would,' said King Allfire. 'I'd like to hear everything that happened, Loungelot - the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.'

'You'll hear nothing else from me, sire,' said Sir Loungelot. 'Not this time.'

Sir Loungelot recounted the tale of everything that had happened since the Knights of the Square Table had left Camelhot that morning, leaving out no details and speaking the truth in its entirety. The other knights were surprised to hear about Scorchred's part in the story, and exchanged significant looks.

'Sir Loungelot,' said King Allfire, 'have you told me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?'

'I have, Your Majesty,' said Sir Loungelot.

'I'll vouch for that, Your Majesty,' said Sir Blaze. 'Loungey has told you exactly what happened; I couldn't have put it better myself.'

'I, too, back up Sir Loungelot's account, sir,' said Sir Galahot.

'Aye, I also,' said Sir Burnevere.

'Yes, and me,' said Sir Hotbreath.

'Me too, Your Majesty,' said Sir Charash. 'Of course, Sir Loungelot doesn't know the part of the tale where I was waylaid on my way back to Camelhot by a demon in disguise as a beautiful maiden who tested my chastity with her alluring ways, but I'll bore you all with that story another day.'

'Well,' said King Allfire, 'then I think there really is only one course of action open to me, isn't there? Stand up, squire, and approach your king.'

A few seconds passed before Flicker realised that he had been given an order. Flame nudged him in the ribs, and he rose to his feet.

'Your Majesty,' he said, executing a bow as he approached, 'I am your humble servant.'

'Yes, humble is the word, isn't it?' chuckled King Allfire. 'I don't suppose that you would ever have told me yourself of your part in all this, would you? But Flicker, I owe you my daughter.'

'Pay him, then,' Flame muttered under her breath.

'You killed my evil nephew, you rescued my daughter, and let's not forget that you've also saved my kingdom on more than one occasion in the past,' said King Allfire. 'And so, under the circumstances, there's really only one thing I can do.'

King Allfire reached behind his throne and withdrew Excaliburn. A collective gasp went up around the hall, and Flame sat forward eagerly on her couch.

'Kneel, Flicker of Northumberland,' said King Allfire, and he touched Excaliburn's blade to each of Flicker's shoulders in turn, 'and arise Sir Flicker, peer of the realm and Knight of the Square Table.'

A colossal cheer erupted around the hall as Flicker rose, a broad grin on his face. Flame squealed and ran to embrace him, her wooziness entirely forgotten.

'Allfire, are you sure you're not being a little rash?' said Queen Griddle.

'Yes, my dear, I am entirely sure,' said King Allfire. 'In fact, I must admit that I have been a little sluggish over this matter, and for that I apologise to everyone involved. Now, Sir Flicker, is there anyone you would like to invite here to Camelhot to celebrate your knighthood? I know that your parents are no longer with us, but perhaps you have other friends or family members you would like to invite, hmm?'

'No, My Liege,' said Flicker. 'My family is here, in this throne room - all of it.'

'Excellent,' King Allfire grinned, slipping an arm around Flicker's shoulders, 'then we'll have the party right now! Cinder and Clinker - party time!'

'Our pleasure, Your Majesty,' said Clinker, sounding almost happy for once.

'Oh, Daddy,' Flame squeaked, 'thank you.'

'It is I who should thank you, Flame, and you, Flicker, for the fact that we're all still here and in one piece,' said King Allfire.

'King Allfire,' said Flicker, 'it is, always has been and always will be my pleasure to serve you and Camelhot, and to -'

'Let's leave the speeches until after the party, dear boy!' King Allfire interrupted, slapping Flicker heartily on the back. 'We have so much to celebrate, so let's get on with it!'

'Huzzah!' cheered the entire court of Camelhot.

'Flicker,' said Flame, reaching out to him. He turned to her and took hold of her outstretched hand. 'Now will you say it?'

'Now I'll say it, Flame,' Flicker said quietly. 'I love you.'

* * *

'Happy wedding day, sis!'

Sir Blaze, dressed up in a colourful ensemble, burst into Flame's bedroom holding a bouquet of flowers in his left hand and a bundle of cloth under his right arm. Flame stopped in the process of climbing out of bed and looked at Blaze with trepidation.

'What's all that?' she asked.

'Accessories,' said Blaze. 'I'm going to dress you up, just like when you were little.'

'Oh, must you? This isn't supposed to be about getting dressed up.'

'I know, it's supposed to be about you and Flicker. But you've got the rest of your lives for that. In the meantime, everybody's terribly excited about the wedding. You wouldn't believe how curious all the serfs are about what your dress will look like.'

'Oh, honestly!' said Flame. 'Does it matter? Look, I really don't want a fuss.'

'Well, that's just too bad, I'm afraid.' Blaze dumped his things on the foot of the bed, and a white mug bearing an emblem fell out from amongst some lacy cloth. 'It's all anyone's talking about. Look, I thought you'd like to see one of these mugs Cinder and Clinker have been selling.'

He picked up the mug and handed it to Flame. She stared in surprise at her own portrait next to Flicker's, both smiling cheesily and framed in a pink heart. Then her brow furrowed as she read, beneath the image, ' _Flicks and Flame_?'

'That's what everyone's calling you,' said Blaze. 'But look, don't worry about any of that. Just give the people what they want today, and then you can spend the rest of your life enjoying your marriage. By the way, how are you feeling?'

'I'm not really sure at the moment,' said Flame. 'Not nervous. Well, kind of nervous, but not really.' She put down the mug and began opening out a length of white material. 'What on earth do we need all this for?'

'I thought I'd better whip you up a quick train,' said Blaze, 'so as not to disappoint people… and I thought maybe you'd let me hold it for you. I know girls normally do that sort of thing, but… well, since you don't have a sister to do it…'

'Oh, Blaze,' said Flame, smiling. 'Of course you must carry my train.'

* * *

In the castle kitchen, a five-tier wedding cake stood on the table while Chef Turnspit hovered above it, carefully lowering a pair of figures onto its centre. A young male dragon wearing an apron watched him with interest.

'I do like those marzipan figures, Chef,' he said.

'Don't talk to me, Boy!' snapped Turnspit. 'This is very delicate work!'

'Sorry, Chef.'

'Go and see if that chocolate mousse has set yet, will you?'

'Yes, Chef.'

The boy went trotting off to another part of the kitchen and passed Cinder and Clinker, who were strapped to a tray of Flicks and Flame mugs.

'Any more mugs for the kitchen, Chef?' asked Cinder.

'I've got quite enough mugs, thank you,' said Turnspit, easing his hand tentatively away from the cake, having placed the figures on it. 'I say, fellas, what do you think of my cake? Is it worthy of a princess?' He flapped down to earth, looking worried.

'It's magnificent, Chef,' said Cinder.

'A masterpiece,' said Clinker. 'But I don't think the Princess is that fussed, to be honest. By the way, we came to tell you that they're ready for the appetisers.'

'Oh my goodness!' said Turnspit. 'Already? I do hope that boy hasn't messed them up - the Queen would have my head. Boy!'

The boy came trotting back into view and said, 'Nearly set, Chef.'

'Good. They'd better be ready in time for dessert. Right then. Sausages on sticks, Boy, upstairs, _now_.'

'Yes, Chef.'

* * *

'Lovely ceremony, Chancellor,' said King Allfire.

'Thank you, Your Majesty,' said the Chancellor, shaking the King's hand. 'It was rather good, wasn't it?'

People were milling about, making their way to the Great Hall, while Blaze and Flicker struggled to help Flame control her train.

'Oh dear!' said Blaze. 'Perhaps this wasn't such a good idea after all.'

'Never mind, Blaze,' said Flame, smiling at Flicker. 'It didn't stop us getting married - that's the important thing.'

'I just have to say, Blaze,' said Sir Charash, as he passed them, 'you look great from behind in those breeches.'

'Oh!' said Blaze, smiling and blushing deeply. 'Thank you, Charash. Oh, Flame, I'm so sorry - I hope my posterior didn't steal your thunder!'

'I've told you, Blaze,' said Flame. 'I don't _want_ any thunder. All I want is Flicker. I suppose it's too early to sneak off and -'

'Hi, you two!'

Flame looked round and saw Sir Wick and Princess Solder approaching, the latter carrying a baby who kept hiccupping little jets of fire. Keeping her son well to one side, Solder embraced Flame with her free arm and said, 'I'm so happy for you! Now you won't have to kill yourself after all!'

'I know!' said Flame, returning the hug while Wick shook hands with Flicker and said, 'Congratulations. Got there in the end, eh?'

'Yes,' said Flicker. 'Thank you. And thanks for writing that letter to the King, Your Highness. I think it really helped.'

'No problem,' said Solder. Then she turned to Blaze. 'Hello. It's Sir Blaze, isn't it? I must say, I do like your outfit. It looked great from the back.'

'Thank you, Your Highness,' said Blaze. 'And this must be the little prince! Can I hold him?'

'He's not a prince yet, Sir Blaze,' said Solder, 'but certainly you can hold him.'

She handed the child to Blaze, in whose arms he continued to hiccup happily, and everyone around him cooed over the little jets of fire he produced. Within moments they were joined by Queen Griddle, who barged into their midst wearing an extravagant hat, and said, 'This must be little Ignatio! Oh, I say, he looks a strong and healthy little future king, doesn't he? You'll be wanting one of these soon, won't you, Flame? A nice, healthy baby boy just like this one. Think you can manage that, Sir Flicker?'

'I…' Flicker said awkwardly. 'I'll certainly do my best, Your Majesty.'

'Good,' said Griddle. 'Now then, Flame, when do you think would be a good time for you to throw the bouquet? After the feast?'

'Oh, Stepmother, what _is_ the point? There are no unmarried women here!'

Griddle looked about to argue, while Blaze, Solder and Wick had begun directing baby talk at Ignatio. Flicker stepped back from the group, then turned and made his way into the Great Hall, where many guests were seated and the kitchen boy was walking around with a tray of sausages on sticks. The Minstrel was there, moving slowly between the tables and strumming on his lute. Flicker's eyes sought out Sir Loungelot, and they soon found him, filling his plate with finger food.

'Hello, Flicker,' said Loungelot, as Flicker sat down next to him. 'Come for a chat, have you? Fancy a good old heart to heart after everything we've been through?'

'Something like that,' said Flicker. 'Are you going to be okay?'

Loungelot stopped chewing, his mouth still full of food, and frowned at him. 'Why wouldn't I be okay?'

'Well… it's just… you'll have to adjust, won't you?'

'Not as much as you will. Don't worry, Flicker, I'm not helpless.'

As Sir Loungelot spoke, the kitchen boy approached with his tray and said, 'Sausages on sticks, Milords?'

'Don't mind if I do,' said Loungelot. He began picking up the sausages one by one and piling them onto his plate. 'Who are you?'

'Kitchen boy, Milord.'

'What's your name?' asked Flicker.

'Crackle, Milord.'

'How do you like Camelhot, Crackle?'

'You can't like it much if you're working under Turnspit,' said Loungelot. 'I don't suppose you fancy a squire's life, do you?'

'Oh, _yes_ , Milord!' said Crackle, his eyes lighting up at once. 'It would be a greater honour than I ever could have asked for, Milord! I never dreamed, when I set out on my journey for Camelhot, that I might serve directly under a Knight of the Square Table!'

'Do you hope to become a knight yourself someday, Crackle?' asked Flicker.

'It is my dearest wish, Milord,' said Crackle. 'All my life I have dreamed -'

'All right, we know the story,' said Loungelot. 'We'll talk about it later. In the meantime, boy, you'd better go and get some more sausages on sticks, hadn't you?'

Crackle looked down at his tray, which Loungelot had emptied of all but three sausages, said 'Yes, Milord,' and went trotting off.

'Turnspit won't like that,' said Flicker.

'He'll get over it,' said Loungelot.

'Well, be nice to the boy, won't you?'

'Are you saying I wasn't nice to you?'

'Well,' said Flicker, 'you could have been a bit nicer… sometimes.'

'Yes, all right, we've been through all that,' said Loungelot, 'which is why I'm sure the King will be keeping an annoyingly close watch on me from now on. So, I shall have to be as nice as pie to young Crackle, shan't I?'

'I suppose you will,' said Flicker. 'Good luck to you, then.'

'Thanks,' said Loungelot. 'Same to you. Look, why are you talking to me anyway? I'd have thought you'd had enough of me by now. Where's your wife?'

'She got nabbed by the Queen.'

'Oh, bad luck. Well, I'd eat something if I were you.'

'Oh.' Flicker looked down the tables, and saw that Crackle was rapidly filling them with various food items. 'I'm not very hungry at the moment.'

'You'll need your strength. If you don't eat, you'll never make a healthy young princess for my new squire to fall in love with.'

'Oh, don't you start!'

'Sorry,' said Loungelot, just as the Minstrel strolled into view, strumming away on his lute.

'Hello, Minstrel,' said Flicker. 'It's good to see you back again. Do you think you'll stay this time?'

'Maybe,' said the Minstrel, 'if the King can find a use for me. But of course I couldn't miss your and Princess Flame's wedding, Flicker. After following you both through all that, I had to see it resolved. Congratulations, by the way.'

'Thanks,' said Flicker.

'Look,' said Loungelot, catching Flicker's eye and nodding to where Flame was hiding behind Sir Blaze, casting anxious glances towards Griddle. 'She's escaped.'

'You'd better go and rescue her, Flicker,' said the Minstrel, with a smile and a wink. 'She likes that.'

Flicker gave the Minstrel a blank look, then stood up and crossed the room to where Flame was hiding.

'You're not playing anymore,' said Loungelot.

The Minstrel looked down at his lute. 'Nor I am. Well, how about a song to really get things going? Let me see now…' He resumed strumming on his lute, and then began to sing:

 _'_ _So Flicker's been knighted at last,  
'And Camelhot's having a blast.  
'He and Flame tied the knot,  
'While Count Geoffrey's left to rot.  
'Now the old status quo's in the past.'_

* * *

The three Evil Knights and the Evil Spy were sitting in a line against the dungeon wall, drinking from Flicks and Flame mugs.

'I heard it was a lovely ceremony,' said Evil Knight Number Three.

'I heard that Flicker whispered something to Flame and made her laugh when she came to stand next to him at the altar,' said the Evil Spy.

'I heard there were so many guests that they ran out of chocolate mousse and had to make some more,' said Evil Knight Number One.

'Well, all I've heard anyone say is that Sir Blaze's bottom looked extremely fetching,' said Evil Knight Number Two. 'Imagine that - upstaged by your sibling's bottom on your wedding day!'

'Will you cretins shut up?' Count Geoffrey snarled. 'I hate the royal wedding - I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!'

'Lighten up, Count Geoffrey,' said Evil Knight Number Two. 'Today is a very special day.'

'I wonder when Princess Flame is going to have a baby,' said Evil Knight Number Three.

'Dragons don't have babies, you dullard - they have eggs!' said Count Geoffrey.

'I know that, but the eggs have babies inside them, don't they?' said Evil Knight Number Three.

Count Geoffrey opened his mouth to argue, but shut it again when he realised that he could not accurately contradict this statement. He glared down at the Flicks and Flame mug in his hand, before roaring in frustration and hurling it against the wall, where it shattered spectacularly.

'Well,' said Evil Knight Number Two, 'I'm not lending you mine when you get thirsty, so don't ask!'

'I shall go mad,' Count Geoffrey moaned, sinking to the floor in despair. 'Oh, well - at least I'll be in appropriate company.'

* * *

Flicker and Flame arrived at their newly decorated bedroom; the door stood open, waiting for them.

'I say,' said Flicker, 'Cinder and Clinker have surpassed themselves - I think they must have borrowed my paint sprayer, to get it all done so quickly.'

'Well,' sighed Flame, 'now it's just the two of us, Flicker.'

'Er, yes,' said Flicker. 'That's a good thing, isn't it?'

'Definitely,' said Flame, beaming all over her face. 'It's the best thing. So, are you going to carry me over the threshold?'

'If you like,' Flicker laughed.

'I hope Stepmother Griddle hasn't drilled a few spy-holes around the place,' said Flame. 'She seems really keen for us to make an egg, you know.'

'And to think she didn't even know my name a few weeks ago,' said Flicker. 'Now she wants me to…'

' _I_ want you to, Flicker,' said Flame. 'But not for the same reasons as my stepmother, Queen Griddle… well, not exclusively anyway.'

'Then I can't refuse, can I?' said Flicker. 'After all, you are the Princess - all you have to do is command me.'

'I command you, Flicker, to carry me into that room,' said Flame, 'and begin our life together as a married couple!'

'My pleasure, Your Highness,' said Flicker.

With that, he scooped her into his arms - causing her to giggle slightly - and carried her over the threshold, closing the door after them with one flick of his tail.


End file.
